The Western View of Nature

The interesting thing about the great western myth is that it lies at the foundation of what we normally see as polar opposites; religion and science. The myth is that nature, the cosmos, all that is, is a process of engineering. Nature is seen as an artifact; an item created.

Religion (of the judeo-christian lineage) reflects this myth as God forming Adam out of clay and creating the cosmos out of the Word (mathematics, language, programming, etc). Here, there is a doer, a creator figure that understands His creation as a mechanic would a car. He knows how it all works and can fix anything that is broken.

This is much the same way that science operates. There is, in both newtonian and quantum physics, an understanding that the universe is a composite of interacting laws. There are higher and lower laws that play against each other to manifest all that exists. And the philosophy goes: the better we can map those laws the better we can influence our world. There is a great machine, eternally pumping, and all we have to do are map the components and start tinkering.

Whether you are a devout believer or an extreme atheist, if you were brought up in a western culture you were imprinted with the viewpoint that there is a mechanical nature to our reality. Be it a westerner's view of the body or of the government, the concept is seen as an amalgamation of parts. Every part serving a function. A body is a beating heart, and breathing lungs, grown by the GI tract, and managed by the brain. A functioning government requires a legislator, an executor, and a populace to preside over. And reality needs a 'creator' God with a Satan figure to keep the game from getting boring.

What follows from the idea that nature is a process of engineering, is the idea of progress at all costs. A machine has a purpose. Whether it be the manifestation of God's will or the random evolution into complexity and connectivity, there is an end product. The trick being to discover that end product. The "Thing", at the end of time, that is waiting for us all.

So we rush forward. Into progress. Scientists debating theories as fervently as theologians. Everyone wanting to be first to "get it." Mapping the Universe, testing, and remapping. Doing our best to draw a bona fide model of reality.

Progress! My sons, forward into progress!

(At this point I have summed up my point as best I can. I couldn't just leave without some moral commentary. Please forgive my righteous intrusion.)

Moral Commentary on the Western view:

Where we run the risk is in the mislabeling of the parts. Failing to understand God and the laws of the Universe has gotten many people killed over the years. Our track record of 'correct-understanding' of reality has been abysmal.

Yet we still continue. We go on living, loving, and learning along the way in the vast and magnificent existence. We get some things wrong and we get some things right; learning along the way. Bringing us to the main point, the one real question of western human thought.

Is it better to be loving or to be right?

The Problem of Free Will

The act of free will is represented beautifully by the metaphor of breathing. Where is free will when you are breathing? When you are not paying attention, it is happening to you. When you are paying attention, you're doing it.

So which is it? Are we free to control, and act upon, our world in any manner we see fit? Or are we bound, hopelessly, to our situation and circumstances, forever dominated by the many laws and forces of the infinite universe?

The answer lies in the breath.

If the conscious 'do-er' is held accountable to meticulously execute each breath, there is anxiety and exhaustion. On the other hand, if the breathing only occurs spontaneously (that is to say to never paid attention to), we would not be able to do such things as speak, swim (underwater), whistle, play an instrument, and even drink out of straws.

But, for the breath to function, for life to exist, both must be present. Free will and determinism, two sides of one reality, forever playing off of each other, dancing the universe into existence.

And, when exposed for what free will really is, we see that what we call OUR free will is really just what the Universe is doing.

The proof is in the path

I have come to the opinion that there is a subtle, but profound, difference between the practice of Buddhism and the practice of Christianity.

When you follow the life of Christ you are becoming a good Christian.

When you are following the instruction of Buddha you are becoming Buddha.

The difference is in the end goal. In Christianity, you can never come close to being Christ (unless you, yourself, are the son of God). But in Buddhism your only goal is to be come Buddha; to wake up.

With Christianity, one must try their best to imitate and follow the life of Christ. And to the degree that you follow the mandates of your own church, you can be called either a good or bad Christian.

There are no good Buddhists, just varying degrees of awareness. 'Waking up' does not require submission to law. But, instead, the cultivation and practice of mindfulness, compassion, and equanimity.

The difference is expressed beautifully in their titles. Christ literally means "the anointed one." A title given by divine grace to one who encapsulates the Godhead. Where 'the Buddha' means "the one who woke up." A title given to someone who has fully integrated insight and action.

The question is which path to follow. To make oneself a facsimile of divinity and wait for God's blessing or go out and cultivate the Godhead for yourself?

Addiction

Recently I have given up cigarettes, again, and I am really getting a first hand view of addiction and what it entails in its experience.

The dictionary defines addiction as: being physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse side effects.

I have found this to be true. In looking at my addiction to cigarettes I have surely felt a physical and mental desire.

Physically, I can feel it most in my chest and mouth, when I want a cigarette. My mouth starts salivating in anticipation of tasting smooth tobacco. And my chest begins to ache, almost pulling me, to inhale smoke. My arms and legs begin to tingle for the stimulation and arousal from the nicotine. I have felt these things hundreds of times and I am sure I will feel them hundreds more.

To me, however, I find it much more difficult to deal with the mental traps. When I talk about mental addiction I am simultaneously talking about behavioral, or pattern based, addiction. In my experience the times when my mind plays a large role in urging me to have a smoke, are the times when my mind is reflecting on the situation at hand and my experience similar ones in the past. For example, when I am at a bar, enjoying a beer. Somewhere after two beers a voice in my head encourages me to have a cigarette. It tells me how buzzed I will get from drinking and smoking, and the body wants to follow.

The mind is king of memory and association making. Because of its unrelenting search for comfort, it is always seeking ways to make the present situation more enjoyable. And in cigarettes, the mind has an easy tool to enhance a variety of experiences. That cigarette was a perfect end to that filling lunch. That cigarette made the morning's coffee, invigorating. I needed a cigarette to cap off that amazing sex.

We can see that there is also a pattern developing. A cigarette comes at the end of a stimulating activity. It is used to make the feeling last, to settle more deeply into the enjoyment of the moment. But in practice it becomes more like a reward. It is something we look forward to after the activity. And soon the the smoking becomes intimately paired with the activity, almost as if the two cannot go without each other. From there on, every time we do our favorite activities, there is smoking.

We instill in ourselves, patterns and habits that fly under the radar of consciousness. And because of these unconscious patterns, the habit of smoking, becomes very difficult to break. We are only conscious of our enslavement to cigarettes when we try to stop. And only when we try to stop, when we give our deliberate attention to the cessation of smoking, we see how tied in smoking is with the majority of events during the day.

I have come to the opinion, that this is why people have such difficulty in quitting cigarettes. Because it is not a mere giving up of tobacco, but a re-organization of how we experience much of our day. Not having cigarettes plunges us deep into the sensation of a given experience. Boredom, stress, restlessness, loneliness, and anger all become intensified when we do not have our normal, habitual, outlet for relief. We are forced to sit with our unpleasant emotions and thoughts as they are. When smoking is not an option, we cannot use our normal means of pacifying ourselves.

The good news is when we give up cigarettes we are given more presence to actually see the causes and conditions of what initially caused us stress. By eliminating our unconsciously driven pattern of our normal quick-fix solution to our discomfort all that is left in consciousness is the present moment. We are forced to see our discomfort for what it is and we can either try to eliminate it, by discovering and eliminating its causes and conditions. Or we can let the suffering continue into its limit; infinity.

And this is the difficulty in quitting; attempting to change the very pattern of one's life while at the same time fighting the extreme mental and physical cravings. When faced with the unimaginable task of re-inventing one's life it is always easier to fall back into old patterns; especially when those old patterns involve strong drugs.

So here we are. Stuck with a decision so profound it literally embodies the choice of life or death. And the right choice is as simple as doing nothing. Yet, there is still a world of struggle. Everything is pointing to one solution and the patterns fight tooth and nail to perpetuate themselves.

For now, I will act as I always do, in true wu-wei style, and do nothing.

Death

I have recently finished a year-to-live practice and wanted to share with everyone what little knowledge, and insight, I have gained in my short investigation of death.

First, and foremost, death is the one thing that we cannot control. It is the one thing that we cannot barter or plead with. We cannot overcome it with title, accomplishments, money, or status. We cannot defeat it by being either a saint or sinner. It encompasses all. It is a universal law; if it is born it must also die.

Knowing this to be true, it is our habitual tendency to fear it, fight against it, and deny it.

I have learned that death is the house of all fear. If we take a moment to really think on fear, we realize that, all fear, is really the fear of death. Fear of heights is the fear of falling to our death. Fear of spiders is really the fear of receiving a fatal bite. Even fears that do not directly relate to death find their source in death. Fear of losing all one’s money, fear of being paralyzed, fear of public speaking, are all one’s fear of being unable to act, unable to live and participate fully in life.

The most important thing I have come to learn it to approach death in the same way you would approach life. By opening to it, and allowing whatever Is, to just Be. In death and in life, a myriad of thoughts, emotions, feelings, and perceptions, will arise. Some of them are pleasurable and some are very painful. But, whatever happens, it is the Truth of the moment and should not be rejected.

There is a story, in Tibetan Buddhism, about a master telling his student about two arrows of pain. The first arrow we are struck by is the actual experience of pain. It is the inevitable experience that we will all have because we are a sensitive, sensing being. The second arrow is the one we create for ourselves. It is the suffering around, the reverberation of, the pain of the first arrow. This suffering usually manifests as anger or some type of ‘why me’ experience, where we are fighting the pain at hand. This second type of pain is the one that our mind usually resides in and is often more lasting and morose than the original experience. But the good news is that we do not have to be struck by the second arrow.

The way to do that is to open to the moment, open to whatever is going on. The present moment requires awareness; pleasure invites it and pain demands it. But our experiences is always a result of exactly how much awareness we give the moment.

When painful experiences arise, we usually close around them. We become ultra-focused on the acute sensation of pain and in doing so intensify its effects. Ironically, we also lose sight of the entire picture of what the pain is comprised of. In becoming angry at our partners for doing something we don’t like, we tend not to think of our behavior that contributed to the action of our partner. Not to mention the effect of the environment in our lives and how it affects people differently. It is always beneficial, even if our anger or hurt is justified, to take a larger view and to consider multiple perspectives.

We see here, that a skillful approach, to any moment, is to provide as much awareness as possible. If we can open our heart and mind to whatever is going on we can take more fulfillment from pleasure and put pain in its proper context. We can see that pain is not a fixed, menacing, enemy, but that it is a dancing of sensations. Anger can be tainted with pain, frustration, guilt, vengeance, even love. Just as pleasure can be wholesome or vindictive.

All experience is incessantly changing; always moving. Thus, it is not beneficial to cling to specific viewpoints or experiences. Nothing last forever and we are only hit with that second arrow when we cling to one specific instance. When we long for things to be the way we desire and not the way they are. And the viewpoint that causes us the most strife, the most pain, is the general fear of death.

I have come to learn that open awareness is the proper way to approach death. In this way, all things have their place and all things can become integrated. In actuality, all of Life, is interconnected and mutually dependent. And the more we can expand our view to be aware of that interconnection, the more skillfully we can deal with suffering and live more fully in-love. Indeed, in all of the people lying on their deathbed’s, the ones that were most at peace were the ones that had fully opened themselves to life. Nothing was excluded from their lives even their deaths.

At some times it feels that I am beginning to attain wisdom into the nature of life and death. And at the times that I most feel like I know what is going on, I am always surprised and humbled by the spontaneity and infinite expression of the Universe.

The notions and views I have expressed in this essay are solely my own and are only true for me. I encourage anyone reading this to see for themselves what is true. To be courageous in the face of fear and uncertainty. And to plunge fully into all aspects of life with a tender, but open heart accompanied with an inquisitive, yet open mind.

Lightness of being

There are so many things in this life that can make us depressed; that cause us suffering.

In our own lives we have to deal with sickness, un-fulfilled dreams and un-accomplished goals. We have to play with the cards we are given, and how often are those cards unfavorable. Whether it is our sex, age, religion, or class there are always obstacles to our self-realization.

On top of our own personal suffering there is the suffering of those we care about, which, in itself, can be just as unbearable as if it were being experienced by us directly. We share in the hurt that happens when a friend is denied the promotion that was due, or when a friend of the family passes on from this life.

Indeed, this is a mere fraction of the entirety of suffering occurring on the global scales. There is war, famine, and poverty, killing millions of people every year, many of which are victims rather than perpetrators of said atrocities.

Outside of the human realm there is the destruction of the eco system and the suffering that is causing to the plant and animal kingdoms. In the United States there is daily violence and neglect for countless domesticated animals. In the tropical regions of the globe where biodiversity is extensive, millions of species are going extinct each year, never to be seen again. We are polluting our ecosystem for generations to come and we are only beginning to see the impact of this on the human condition.

Ironically, what I am arguing here is not a depressed or pessimistic outlook, but one of lightness and humor. If one were looking for a reason to be depressed, to be brought down, there would be no lack. But to focus on only the disturbing part of life, and the human condition, would be to miss the point. To throw out the baby with the bathwater, so to speak.

It should be apparent that it is impossible to escape suffering in this world. Indeed the first noble truth in Buddhism is “all of life is suffering.” And to try to escape it would be like trying to arrange all the things in your room as “up.” It’s impossible, you cannot have “up” without “down.”

I should point out that the rest of the Noble Truths do offer a path out of suffering by defining what it is (desire), assurance that there is a way out, and the steps to be taken for the cessation of suffering. It should be noted that suffering is never eliminated; the causal agents of suffering will always be present in Existence. All that is changed, all that can be changed, is our relation to it.

This is the topic of this essay: to suggest that real suffering is caused by only one person; ourselves.

Nothing in this life is certain. There are powers and laws that are much more influential than our tiny human ego and will. When we try and assert ourselves, when we try to maintain our dominance over the world around us, more often than not we come up short. The best we can hope for is a long streak of getting “our way.” And, truly, this brings no lasting happiness.

My point is not to get caught up in what you want. I once heard that prayer only works when your wishes are the same as God’s. I find that to be compelling and true. We can see that we only get our way, all of the time, when it is aligned with the greater cycles and will of the Universe.

What you want also includes how you want to be defined, which isn’t always up to you. The Universe can make you a popper as easily as it could a prince. It can take you from being successful and influential to being an untouchable; something reviled.

You can never create a perfect world, for yourself or even for others. Even if you alleviate the suffering in your own life, there is still a plethora of painful experiences going on in all levels of life, at all time. There is too much pain in this world to ever be cured. There is too much suffering intertwined in all levels of existence. If you are looking for the world to make you happy; you will never find happiness.

This does not mean to give up and become apathetic and nihilistic. Even these negative and selfish attitudes will not bring the end of suffering (and will most likely perpetuate the cycles of pain). I have found my pain and suffering is lessened to a great degree when I am helping others. Even more so if I can bring a joyful attitude to an otherwise somber atmosphere.

Even if lasting peace and happiness are impossible to attain. Working towards those goals, for your self and all beings, will create immediate, pleasant, and beneficial results for all of Existence.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Help others when it is needed. And smile, laugh, and be joyous, as much as possible.

I will end with a quote that I heard from GK Chesterton “Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.”

All That Is

When I was a child I was told that God created the entire universe. He, and of course God was a man back then, created all space and time and anything else that is in existence today; even the man-made items because man was created by God. Being a child I accepted this viewpoint. I would imagine a divine male doing some fantastic hocus-pocus and bringing all that is into being (or at least its most basic constituents.) I knew that God existed and created the Universe, however was left with the question: Who created God; How did He come into being?

I would play this thought game, an experiment in imagination, where I would imagine God prior to making real His creation. Then I would try to imagine the circumstances that could bring God Himself into being. I pictured a black void with some cool electric looking radiation coming together to form Him or simply seeing Him starting to manifest out of an endless void. But no matter what scenario I encountered I could always disprove it by noting the means in which I saw God manifesting himself are all means which god would later create. If he generated Himself out of electricity I knew it could be so because God created electricity. If he manifested out of nothing I knew it couldn’t be so because nothing (voidness) is still something and it could only be created after God had made it so.

For a long time I sat, discontent, knowing that no matter how hard I tried I could never determine a cause for God; never know the reasons or the mechanics of His coming into being.

Alan Watts put forth an idea of God that helped put a little clarity and understanding into my notion of God. His idea?

It is impossible and useless to talk about God.

At first this might seem a little incredulous and insulting. It puts in the face of all people tied to religion. Clergy make their money, they secure their future and the future of the church by professing to know what’s really going on. People seek them out for guidance based on the fact that they know how to accord human actions with the desires of the Almighty. In my opinion, however, the idea of “unknowing” ascribed to God is actually the most true and honest idea to have about God.

Watt's posits that in order to talk about "things" we must define them. This is easy on the mundane scales. We know that a cup of coffee is different than a stapler and from a dog. There are certain distinguishable traits that make it easy to differentiate between two things. We define something, not only by ascribing certain traits to it, but by saying what the thing is not. For example, you know that I am not you, at any given moment you are experiencing different thoughts, emotions, and we have a different history.

You also know that you are something different from the surrounding environment. The outside world operates based upon, cold, rational laws, while people follow social patterns and have some degree of free will. Everything is defined by what it is not.

So by defining things we draw a boundary around it, we box up the thing saying that everything on the inside of the boundary is what the thing is and everything on the outside is what the things is not. Easy, right?

This line of logic breaks down once we start trying to define God; defining the All. If God is the Ground of Being, the Essence in which all of reality flows out of, then by what definitions can we ascribe to Him, or Her, or It. We see here that God is the box that contains all boxes. But where is the box that contains that box? Once we start trying to define God, to put our finger on what It actually is, we find our self in a hopeless paradox. One that is never ending; once a new box is described another new box must be created to contain that box, then another, then another, into infinity.

Therefor, I posit, that God was never created; It always was. He is not eternal or infinite because these are measurements in time; God stands outside of time. He existed in space and beyond space. He does not exist yet he does not not-exist, he is beyond being and non-being. He is the doer of all things though he does nothing. He is the resolution of paradox.

There is a quote that sums up this idea perfectly: "the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we CAN suppose." The definition, the true understanding, of the Universe, of the "All That Is," will never be established (at least not by the human mind).

Christianity vs. Democracy

Christianity vs. Democracy

Fundamentalist Christians living in the United States must live with some serious cognitive dissonance. People who are ideologically like the former president really intrigue me. I am not speaking of neo-cons per-say, but specifically those who believe it is their duty, bestowed upon them by the Almighty, to spread democracy around the globe.

This is interesting to me because democracy is at complete odds with the type of Christianity in which they believe. Democracy entails equality of all citizens in all matters; in basic rights, in the law making process, and every other aspect of society. And, to be truthful, this is not that bad of an idea. The United States was founded on the principles of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and for this to be possible we must live the belief that we are all equal. That each individual’s happiness and security is vital and worth protecting.

When we take a look at these Christians, namely fundamentalist and bible literalists, they make it obvious that they seek to spread their version of democracy to those “enslaved” to their cultural, traditional way of life. These Christians who believe it is their duty, as if they are knights serving their king, to spread the influence of their ruler; democracy. The thing is that the have already made your decision for those they seek to liberate and free. They preach democracy and freedom of choice, but they have an ultimate outcome; their choice. Their way of life.

The point is that you cannot think that the best way, the best form of government, is a democracy when you believe the highest order operates as a monarchy.

A reconciliation must occur and it can only happen one of two ways:

1. We accept that Monarchy, and submission hitherto, is the best form of governance.
2. We accept that Democracy, and freedom, is the best form of governance.
   

The founders of the United States obviously had their opinions on the matter. By establishing a democratic republic they effectively liberated themselves from financial slavery and life-long oppression under a monarchy. They knew, as we do to this day, that it is the individuals’ right to be free and live a life of happiness. And as long as the law was laid down from a single source, liberty and happiness would only come to those who pledged allegiance to the controlling body. Our founding fathers wanted more for us. They wanted all citizens of the new republic to have access to happiness and freedom regardless of their political ideology. They knew this was the undeniable right of each human being.

If we take a hard look at the religion and way of life that Jesus taught, rather than the religion about Jesus, it becomes immediately clear. What Jesus preached was equality amongst all humans. He did not preach submission to a monarch; an all knowing, all powerful, giver of edicts and laws that must be followed. Indeed he advocated submission to the highest force, the All Powerful; un-adulterated Love.

During his ministry he did not associate with the heads of state or the ruling religious elite. He lived his life with the people who had been forgotten by society, the people who did not share the rights and freedoms given to the ones who submitted to Roman domination, the ones who had no say in how their life should be lived. He gave a voice to those who could not speak for themselves. He performed the miracle of bringing back to life, reintegrating into society, the untouchables. Jesus did not discriminate saying “those who believe in me (or my father) are the ones deserving of recognition.” No one had to submit to his authority, or that of the creator, to receive love, people were free to choose to receive his blessing of warmth and compassion. Jesus preached a truly democratic way of life, where is was the individuals right to choose what was best for them and their happiness.

Just because people do not practice freedom the way in which we Americans do, does not mean they are not truly free. We can see that what these hypocrite “christians” are really spreading is a form of economic monarchy which accords with their belief of how the Universe actually operates. Where democracy is degraded into a freedom to choose from which multi-national corporation to buy from. They have decided that submission to the king, corporate America, is the highest good.

I have always wondered: what would happen if the people of these nations, being taken over by corporate greed, voted us out of there country? Could we justify invading them again? Could we not say that democracy has triumphed; the people have made their educated choice to keep their way of life over accepting a new corporate monarch?

Privilege

I had a fairly in-depth conversation with a co-worker this past week on which we were discussing privilege. The question arose in my mind; how much does privilege affect our life and how aware, or unaware, of it are we? And how do privileges affect our happiness?

I’d like to think that I am aware of many of the benefits and blessings in my life. I have a fiance who loves me unconditionally, a family that provides undying support, and friends who continue to be friends no matter how bad of a friend I am. I have a job that is challenging, a roof over my head, and a plethora of food available whenever I desire it.

On top of all that I have many decadent aspects of my life. I live in a vibrant city that always provides something entertaining. I have a computer to connect me to anything my heart desires and a cell phone that can do everything for me (short of wiping my ass). My body is covered in tattoos and I enjoy more cannabis, alcohol, and tobacco than should be allowed for any responsible human being. Therefore, it would be fair to say that I live a very privileged life.

I was lucky enough to be born in the United States which has afforded me more freedoms than many, many, people in the world. Not only that, I am male and my skin color is white, which notwithstanding recent political events, is still the norm for power holders in this country. But all of these things come together to put me into the group of people that enjoy the most privileges in society.

On the other hand there are many people in our society who are greatly unhappy due to the lack of privileges that society bestows upon them. There are gays and lesbians who cannot share in the pleasures of marriage. There are minorities and impoverished who lack access to a decent education and honest jobs. Women, still to this day, face glass ceilings in many different fields. And for the most part this is not the fault of the individual but a result of the structure of society and its allocation of privileges.

However, the privileges and blessings bestowed upon me are not what makes me happy. The happiness in my life does not come from external factors; namely societal recognition. If I were only happy when society tells me I should be, or am allowed to be, I would never experience joy. I am not at the peak of my career. I am not married and am without children. My 401k is non-existent and I have no investments. I have not been recognized in any field that I work in for any degree of accomplishment. Yet most every day I am filled with a sense of joy.

Every day, or at least most days, I acknowledge the privileges that are taken for granted. I feel grateful for the use of both of my legs and arms; for my sense of hearing and sight. I thank the ‘all-that-is’ for the blessing of freedom of mind and freedom of choice. Not the freedom of choice to do what I want, to buy what I want, but to choose where I draw my fulfillment from.

My joy and happiness come from the simplest things in life. Many of which I consider privileges. Too often we get caught up in all of the things that we don’t have; the things society does not give to us freely. And the focus on those things causes us great unhappiness. We think that if we were to only attain those things, those privileges, then we could be happy. I am not saying one should accept a deplorable situation, indeed much happiness and fulfillment is derived from bettering one’s situation or for standing up for those who are unable to stand up for themselves. But I tell you, no amount of attainment, no degree of privilege can cause happiness.

The seeds of appreciation and gratitude must already be present for there to be any hope of true and lasting happiness.

The peak and foundation of human experience

I saw an episode of “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” the other night and it was more intense than normal. The story featured a family that had lost a father and son to a drowning accident. The father had taken three of his children out to a pond for a day of swimming. With him was his eldest son, 17, youngest daughter, 6, and youngest son, 7. At some point the father decided to swim out to a grouping of rocks in the middle of the pond. He hoisted his daughter up on his shoulders and began the swim, unknowing of what was about to occur.

According to the daughter, about halfway to the rocks, her father tensed up and began to sink. Scared and hysteric she began screaming for help. Upon hearing his sister the eldest son, without hesitation, jumped into the water and swam out to where she was. The boy swam down to save his father and never returned. The pond was too deep, and his father too heavy, for him to make it back to the surface to save even his own life.

When this story was told I was hit by an intense emotion. It was not sadness. But an extreme feeling of love mixed with despair. I felt extreme compassion for the family. How hard it must be to deal with the loss of both a father and brother. Yet, what was resonating the most in my body and mind was love and caring. I felt the devotion, born of love, the son felt for his father. The extreme love that occurs when two individuals have eliminated their egos, their selfish needs, and the only thing remaining is intense, intense, love.

The type of love that is the peak of the human condition. Not a petty feeling or a meaningless gesture. But the type of action that transcends cultural definitions and experiences. It is a connection, in the truest sense, between people. When this love manifests in our daily lives, usually through extreme circumstances, we know the doer of the action as a “hero.” The recognition of this type of love is universal. All peoples have the ability to recognize and appreciate an act of selflessness; this type of love is the foundation of human nature.
The problem is, in contemporary society, we reserve our love for those who we deem worthy. Our parents, friends, and relatives often receive this type of love because it is expected. Our culture puts a double-bind on us saying that we MUST love these people yet it will only be excepted if it is done so willingly. Though this is the sad case some of the time, it still does not negate the fact that the double-bind helps us to activate that feeling and sense of extreme love for those that are close.

What I am suggesting is that we eliminate the enforced conditions of love, put on us by society, and start to do it consciously.

We must not choose who we deem worthy of our love. We must not hold people to specific criterion to receive our love. Because all people are operating from their own biased viewpoint (ego) no one will ever fully meet our criteria. These criterion come from a myriad of sources, namely religion and society. But these organizations do us a disservice as human beings. They give us too many requirements for people to meet in order to receive our love. Religion is quick to restrict love to only those in the same faith, let alone the same denomination and church. Society says that we should love only those who are on “our” side; those who share our goals. But how often do our goals shift and how often do our friends become enemies and vice-versa.

Definitions of love, whether handed down from politicians or clergy, do not reflect reality. In both cases they are used to advance the agenda of the leading party. What a travesty to destroy the purest and most intense human experience!

Love is a felt experience between two, or more, individuals. As such it cannot and should not be defined. It is always unique to the situation and the moment yet it is universal enough to be experienced at all times and with all people. In fact, this is the way to make real change in the world. To extend love to all peoples, especially those who you deem unworthy, and to begin cherishing their worthy character traits. If we look hard enough there is always something beautiful in another person. Once we can experience and appreciate the uniqueness of another, we become more and more, one individual, falling deeper and deeper into love.

Indeed, if you want to experience more joy, and less sorrow in your life, extend your feelings of love to more people. Buddhists talk of “sympathetic joy,” the feeling of joy when another is feeling joy. If you feel a degree of love for someone then you should literally be able to feeling their joy when they feel it. To be happy with your friend if they get a promotion or excited when your mother finally starts taking salsa dancing lessons. The best news is, as the Dalai Lama puts it, if you attempt to take joy in other people’s joy, you increase your chance at happiness six billion to one.

Coming back to the story of the son’s sacrifice for his father, it reminds us of the depth and intensity that love can take. It reminds us that love is the most beautiful thing in all of the universe and is at the base of all experience. Whether it is Jesus giving his life for God the father or this son giving his entire being to save his drowning father, both of their sacrifices remind us what it (life) is all about; Love.

Who Are You?

Who am I?

It is a question that everybody is confronted with no matter their race, religion, or geographical location. It is a universal that is unbounded by the structure of culture and more personal than any question that could be asked.

Yet how many people actually ask this question? And if they do, how many actually go deeply into it.

It is easy to say "I am so and so" or "I am this or that profession." But is that really an honest answer? We point to our labels. A name is a word, an abstraction that only points towards life, but is not really life. We wear so many 'hats' throughout the day. And, for whatever reason, we believe that what ever 'hat' we are wearing at the time of inquiry is the hat we are, were, and will be for all time.

Yet how many times in a person's life do they have identity crises', large or small, and seek a new definition of themselves. People wake up and suddenly realize the life they've been living, the role they've been assuming isn't really them, isn't true to themselves, and they start resisting it. They quit a job, take up a new hobby, start a new project, and everything in between because they are rebelling against the person they have fallen into playing.

And that's just it. We've been playing this whole time yet we take it so seriously. We think that if we loose our titles then we would lose ourselves. If I am not my name, the balance in my bank account, my job, the car I drive or the house I own, then exactly who am I?

These are the things that are noticed by others. They are the proof of our hard work and right to live in this world; we are contributing to life and society. What we do not realize is that in all this action and striving, what we are looking for is not ourselves but the recognition of others. If others do not validate what we want to be then we say to ourselves "well, then, I guess I am not that thing."

This is absolutely ridiculous. How many writers, poets, painters, economist, historians, philosophers, etc. have aided in the development of mankind through their work yet were not validated as such in their lifetimes. They died without recognition as what they felt in their heart they truely were. Yet they continued to be themselves, as it is, and everyone since then has benefited from it.

We deny our true selves by becoming stuck in the situation of not being the labels we ascribe to ourselves nor in what society says what we SHOULD be.

The point is, for better or for worse, you are what you are doing. The only real activities in life, the only ones that are real for the individual, are the ones that are done for themselves. The ends are the means. Whatever it is you do. Do not do it because you are seeking fame, wealth, power, or status. Do it because it fulfills the true nature of your being. An artist should find fulfillment in the creation of their piece and not it's market value. A doctor should find reward in alleviating the suffering of a patient and not in his wealth or status.

This is not only applicable to the professional realm. It also hold true in relationships. The best mothers, brothers, cousins, friends, co-workers, etc. are the ones that enter into the relationship with complete love and humility. They are not expecting to gain anything out of the relationship. But are happy to participate in the experience itself.

In this universe of infinite potential, and in this time of unprecedented equality and possibility, anything can be. The point is the choice is in your hands. The more one lets society, and others, determine what they should be, the more they will feel out of place and the more they will try and fight life. The point is to take some time, do a personal inventory, and find out what really matters to you. What fulfills oneself? What activity can be done, day in and day out, without any extra incentive? Once you find these important things. The only thing left to do is to not wait for anything, not society not even yourself, and simply do them.

Take some time and really sit with the question: Who Am I?