Lightness of being

There are so many things in this life that can make us depressed; that cause us suffering.

In our own lives we have to deal with sickness, un-fulfilled dreams and un-accomplished goals. We have to play with the cards we are given, and how often are those cards unfavorable. Whether it is our sex, age, religion, or class there are always obstacles to our self-realization.

On top of our own personal suffering there is the suffering of those we care about, which, in itself, can be just as unbearable as if it were being experienced by us directly. We share in the hurt that happens when a friend is denied the promotion that was due, or when a friend of the family passes on from this life.

Indeed, this is a mere fraction of the entirety of suffering occurring on the global scales. There is war, famine, and poverty, killing millions of people every year, many of which are victims rather than perpetrators of said atrocities.

Outside of the human realm there is the destruction of the eco system and the suffering that is causing to the plant and animal kingdoms. In the United States there is daily violence and neglect for countless domesticated animals. In the tropical regions of the globe where biodiversity is extensive, millions of species are going extinct each year, never to be seen again. We are polluting our ecosystem for generations to come and we are only beginning to see the impact of this on the human condition.

Ironically, what I am arguing here is not a depressed or pessimistic outlook, but one of lightness and humor. If one were looking for a reason to be depressed, to be brought down, there would be no lack. But to focus on only the disturbing part of life, and the human condition, would be to miss the point. To throw out the baby with the bathwater, so to speak.

It should be apparent that it is impossible to escape suffering in this world. Indeed the first noble truth in Buddhism is “all of life is suffering.” And to try to escape it would be like trying to arrange all the things in your room as “up.” It’s impossible, you cannot have “up” without “down.”

I should point out that the rest of the Noble Truths do offer a path out of suffering by defining what it is (desire), assurance that there is a way out, and the steps to be taken for the cessation of suffering. It should be noted that suffering is never eliminated; the causal agents of suffering will always be present in Existence. All that is changed, all that can be changed, is our relation to it.

This is the topic of this essay: to suggest that real suffering is caused by only one person; ourselves.

Nothing in this life is certain. There are powers and laws that are much more influential than our tiny human ego and will. When we try and assert ourselves, when we try to maintain our dominance over the world around us, more often than not we come up short. The best we can hope for is a long streak of getting “our way.” And, truly, this brings no lasting happiness.

My point is not to get caught up in what you want. I once heard that prayer only works when your wishes are the same as God’s. I find that to be compelling and true. We can see that we only get our way, all of the time, when it is aligned with the greater cycles and will of the Universe.

What you want also includes how you want to be defined, which isn’t always up to you. The Universe can make you a popper as easily as it could a prince. It can take you from being successful and influential to being an untouchable; something reviled.

You can never create a perfect world, for yourself or even for others. Even if you alleviate the suffering in your own life, there is still a plethora of painful experiences going on in all levels of life, at all time. There is too much pain in this world to ever be cured. There is too much suffering intertwined in all levels of existence. If you are looking for the world to make you happy; you will never find happiness.

This does not mean to give up and become apathetic and nihilistic. Even these negative and selfish attitudes will not bring the end of suffering (and will most likely perpetuate the cycles of pain). I have found my pain and suffering is lessened to a great degree when I am helping others. Even more so if I can bring a joyful attitude to an otherwise somber atmosphere.

Even if lasting peace and happiness are impossible to attain. Working towards those goals, for your self and all beings, will create immediate, pleasant, and beneficial results for all of Existence.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Help others when it is needed. And smile, laugh, and be joyous, as much as possible.

I will end with a quote that I heard from GK Chesterton “Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.”